I am sorry….

I am sorry….
For Mom and dad:
I am sorry mom and dad for never listening to your words. It’s almost been 25 years but still I never abide your words. That is why my life has become miserable. I have never been able to become an ideal son. I have brought more ignominy than anything else . I want to make you the happiest parents but some of my habits have really put your heads down time and again. I think the biggest and dreadest fear of yours would be my addiction towards alcohol. I also think that I am little bit addicted to alcohol if not all. Your son minus alcohol would really make you feel on cloud nine. Ain’t it mom and dad? He has got almost all the qualities of a good son. Really mom and dad…I donot know why but after becoming tipsy here in Japan I thought so. That’s why I started writing. I think someday I would definitely become ideal son of yours. Please forgive me since I am your son.
For my brother’s especially:
I am also feeling sorry for all my brothers and sister. Though I earn but I never take care of them. Its really not nice since I am the second eldest in my house and my brother’s and sister’s complain would be same like my parents. All ofthem keeps on advising me to refrain from alcohol and when the hangover is at its peak I realize their saying. I never mind my brother taunting at me regarding on and off last night party(Not to mention that taunt ,once in a month have become the di-riguer from his side.)Sometimes my younger brother also feel irritated. I really apolozise for this addiction. Believe me someday I would definitely give up.(Let’s hope that someday would come soon).
For all my friend’s:
Nobody would have forgotten 2004 and 2005(especially my classmates from JNU) and prior to that that day when I drunk for the first time fully (2000) up till now. Somehow you guys have experienced that how I loose control over my senses after consuming alcohol. It must have been really hard for you to control me. I can understand it though I am little bit in high spirits but frankly not like that what I was before. But this is really bad. I think so. I have lost many a great relationship just because of this alcohol. Many of my friends have stopped talking to me or they keep restraining from me just because of alcohol. You know what my dear friends sometimes thinking of all these sad instances I start drinking. I really regret loosing one of my very good friend cum younger brother who was so closeto me someday that whenever I call him now then he never picks up my phone. I think that’s really sad foe me. Moreoever there are few friends who always oversee my mistake. But tonight I feel really sorry for them and I am really missing them like anything. Please forgive me my dear friend’s. Apology. I want to take few names specially but there is some kind of constraint but after reading this you could easily make out regarding who so all I am talking about. I really dodnot want to loose you all. I am getting weaker with every passing day. Please forgive me. Really..
For all my girl friend (Remotely or closely attached to me):
I am really very sorry ladies. This addiction of mine have prompted you to go out from this relationship. I really miss you all on some occasion or on some songs whenever I listen to those I miss one among you. But I miss one, the most. I think it was my addiction to alcohol that really took a big toll on my life and then everything changed. I have lost her and I feel that I have lost everything now. I live just for the sake of living. I have become careless after that. After my job and engagements , only one thing comes in mind that is alcohol . I think I have made alcohol as my life partner. No other way ladies. Now no more falling but sometimes I doubt that how much I can rise with alcohol. Tough question to answer.But one fine day I would quit alcohol. This is my promise which I will definitely keep. Don’t think me as old reckless Sam. I have changed quite a lot now.
I am sorry God:
Sorry to you lastly. I donot know why I behave like this even after loosing so many of them that it would never be fulfilled this time in my life. Is it because you want me to do so. Please God I donot want to loose anymore as I think I donot have anything to loose except my life and you know I have to keep my words as I have promised my parents,my brother’s and sister’s and to all my dearest friend’s and to my ex girlfriend . So what do you want or what have you decided for me??Do let me know.