God is really Great..We human being are confused lot.

Few months ago when my Japan job went on hold for some reason I always asked for God for justification..Most of the time in my unconscious state(I think I asked some more justification from God) but I did not get any reply from him at that time. Well I was expecting something from God and I have given him some dead line but nothing worked out and I packed my bag and I thought it’s better to move back to my home town and one of my well wisher (Abhineet) helped me in every sense(I regret as I have almost lost him due to my drinking addiction) . I came back to my home town for some kind of social service cum self employment but I was destined somewhere else. One of my friend told me that I am not meant for social service but he really donot know this “SAM”. Well I doubt how many of my friends really know me/understand me(laughing).Because the last time when my Japan job went on hold most of them really made a joke at me(I really donot mind it). God is really great as he his justification in rather subtle way that I also couldnot understand and I am in Japan with God’s grace. Thank you so much for everything.
Well everybody has become so materialistic and so am I. While I was smoking today I was thinking about this materialism. I really did not know but I wanted to go back to my home town then and there. I think Japan was not my wish (sorry little bit) but it was more like a compulsion,peer pressure and moreover prestige. Because I too have become materialistic. I know that I can do almost everything in India if I stay in Japan for sometime. I donot know why but after seeing the trend in India Its really imperative that I should stay in Japan for some time otherwise I would not get a girl of my choice(Though I wont ever get now).
So in this sense God is great and I really bow before him. Well you(God) must be knowing my situation very well here in Japan but somehow it’s a great exposure in my age. I think I have got much more then I ever expected and sometimes this concerns me a lot. I think I am not of this caliber and moreover you know the situation here in hospital. Its totally political. I do have some problem sometimes. But I believe in you because its your justification totally. I am just putting my efforts and If you feel that its not enough then please give me some hint because sometimes I miss subtle hints(Mst of the time). I am here for some purpose and I want to get this project as this is my first biggest project
Well I thank you for this also and I am also sad because I never asked for such a big justification. But I think you saw my tears and gave me such a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig opportunity and now you know my state and you can only help me. I look forward to your help.
Thank you God.