"Nothing is Reality. Reality is Nothing."

We are born dreamers and the irony is that we keep denying this reality. I have nurtured so many dreams deep within me that now it becomes to fathom them. Long ago I learnt a French word called 'ennui'. The word can be loosely translated as 'boredom' in English. But I knew that it has deeper implication and I felt what the deeper implication is for months in my own city-Kolkata. Out of love,out of friendship,out of the things you love- I have experienced it all. And every time my heart yearned for an escape route. Yes, I am an escapist - I choose the easier way out than choosing the more difficult part. For months I have longed to be on a different land. But I never knew that I would get that escape route at a time when I was least expecting it. Lennon was right - "Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans". My plans were different,but I do not know when all of a sudden a moment came and everything changed for me. I said we are born dreamers, but I never knew that my long lost dream of sharing my life with someone would come true. I am perhaps one of those few people who are blessed because in spite of been away from home I have never felt the absence of home. And in no time I found my life in a city which is completely alien to me:Never knew that a person's presence can be so fulfilling in itself that you can find your family in that one person.May be this was that suppressed quest within me that has finally managed to find its lost path. You can long to be a wanderer all your life but wanderers are alone, loner and always in search of that 'something'. At different stages of my life I have found a different definition of that 'something'. And if I could pen down each of those definitions, I would have realized how much I have evolved as a person. One thing I have known about myself that I am a confused soul. My cynicism and pessimism has slowly and steadily added to this nature of mine. And whoever would read this write up would think "Why the hell this person digress so much?" But how far sorted are we in real life? The moment we think that this is how our life should be, that very moment we get to experience something that totally redefines our lives. May be this is the reason why I let me pen flow the way my thoughts flow. I do not want to govern my thoughts, tame them or sort them. I let them flow and frolic in their own world and every time I pay a visit to that world, I get disillusioned. What did I actually write? I just realized about the ambiguity and nothingness that life is all about. By: Deepabali Chakrabarti---

Rebirth in December

Finally after a hiatus, I am back here with my randomness to be shared among all of you. I seriously missed my random writings but my tight schedule and lots of complications in life somehow didn't let me share my weird random thoughts over here. I seriously missed it albeit writing is not my bread and butter but deep within I am passionate and feel so intensely about this art. It gives me such a high that it can be termed as "cocaine" of my life. I just wish my girl does not read this piece of weird stuff otherwise she will advise me to remain with this "cocaine". Jealousy is at times very bad, whether it's against you or for you. But these all are the elements which make us a human being. Last six months I was so busy that I lost almost eleven kilograms and started looking like a grown up. You know when you are so passionate about something then you really don't care come what may. MY state was something akin to that but somehow it was taking a huge toll on my life which I did not realise. But that passion somehow ended abruptly. I was criticised from every quarter that made me feel so helpless. You tend to feel so weak from within. It was like a huge loss, a kind of demise of your very own relative. I cried, shoved and I did so many foolish things which I should not have done. But I could not stop myself because it was a matter of passion. "Excellence should surpass everything". That is my motto. It was during this time when I found my love who gives me solace, who is a firm wall, a confession box and so much more. So much I have missed her in those past months. Life plans its own chess game and tries to check you out every moment. That's how we become tragedy kings, pauper and nonetheless the Hero. I really do not know what I am. Just settling down slowly. What went away from me has come back again to me. During this course of time I have suffered some irrepairable loss which I am still trying to mend... do not know whether it will fall into my booty or not. Also the lateral effect which is still taking toll everyday. I need to come out of it because life is still giving me so much which I should have got little earlier but I really do not know the quantum of that little whether it was really so little. For that little such a great fuss was just an act of shedding off my duty or was it not too little. Even I have left this on god to decide. One thing is for sure that I am going to write more from now on. I have come with an expiry date on to this whole bunch of Jokers' Planet but who knows what's there in the Pandora's box. I could or could not make it. Between these two, life revolves and ends and we never ever comprehend it....Never ever. Those comprehensible factors get buried and those incomprehensible stuffs remain for the next generation for comprehension. That's how life goes on.

Finally after a hiatus almost after six months,I am back here with my randomness to be shared among all of you. I seriously missed my random writings but my tight schedule and lots of complications in my life somehow didn't let me do this weird random thoughts over blog. I seriously missed it albeit writing is not my bread and butter but deep within I feel so intense and passionate about this art.It gives me such a high that it can be termed as "cocaine" of my life. I just wish my gal doesnot read this piece of weird stuff otherwise she will advise me to remain with this "cocaine". Jealousy is at times so bad when its against you or for you even. but these all are the elements which makes us a human being

Let me be a wanderer

Let me be a wanderer for this life,who walks with no destiny.
The child of lesser God wants nothing from those mortal souls.
I came alone and I would walk off alone.
I feel the pain of burgeoning ocean inside me.
Restlessness prevails wherever my eyes can gaze.
If it is eternity than be it eternity.
No chosen path to trade with, I love being a wanderer who walks with no destiny.

Your love was facade

Oh girl..your love was facade like a white satin,where everything seemed true.
Your stubornness took a toll because you were obsessed with you.
You won't remember when I used to watch you in slumber,like a dead body sleeping peacefully without disturbing the breathe...ohhhh it was a privileged pleasure...
I used to think that love is behind me but alas!!! That was just a white facade where anyone could write everything and it looked so corrigible than,but I forgot that It was just a white facade,you living in your own obsession...
Love is you and me without obsession but you were always you.I was picking out my mistake today and found that I never had a white satin to portray my love.
Had I got it it would have been written in black and white....oh girl!!!

You,Love,me...

We met and that was sheer or more of a rare coincidence. I felt the distance between us but that feeling was little less until one fine day we talked our heart out. It made me restless so much so that It chiseled my heart and finally I gave up and realized that the cupid struck me and I had to pinch myself every time thinking of myself as a vagabond to being dangerously in love.

Do you remember the distance between us? Do you have questions, apprehensions about all this. Not until you came here in the city of my dreams. Do you still remember when you landed here, what was my first reaction? That one week was more than heavenly bliss for me. I couldn’t have asked more from God.

We met and that was sheer co-incidence and finally we found each other and its our destiny. You know the breath I take in is you my love and the breath I take out is killing. You must be having so many doubts about me but whatever I told you is core from my heart. When you ask me that “How much I love you”? I always reply “so much “and that too without full stop. Because answering this question would be like limiting the love. So you better understand my love for you.

Your passive resistance irritates me so much that I fall for you again and again more strongly because I find you as my extension. You may not know how much I love you and need you but everything I do, all my dreams include you so please be my side and be little more flexible because love is not the echoes of vibrant ecstasy rather love is you in me and me in you. Love is you and me. Love is absolute, Love is all, Love is everywhere. You just have to feel it. I have so many lacunae but I love you and unconditionally and I will love you like this forever. Period!!

Abyss all over again

You woke me from slumber
Where I was from ages.
Now when I try to find you,
I can only have your memories
left with me.
All over abyss scattered around me..
Lovelorn I feel now.
My heart bleeds again and again
thinking what was that...Love!

No it was just a dream,pleasant initially,writhing pain inside me,but I can't help it as its my fate...
Fate which is pre-decided and neither you nor me could change.....