De-Su-cide

I have experienced quite a few demise in my life time but this one was really heart touching. Albeit he did not die after his long back nurtured dream crashed one after another, he could not cope with it and finally he succumbed to his unfortunate fate, the word which was his forte once upon a time. And after going through all this I felt that my alter-ego has died inside me and now I feel uneasy every moment in whatever I do. May be it is my fate. Even I am destined not to have even the smallest of pleasures. Really tragedy is like an act of ambush where you do not have any way out for escape. My friend was a revolutionary since his childhood. (He still is because friendship would not ever die). Since I came down to Bangalore we used to meet quite frequently and he used to express his Utopian dreams about so many good things. Be it social, political or any good move. He is a true revolutionary. But bonded by his family and his relatives, somewhere he gets weak about all this; that is why he hates all relationships except for love and friendship. He is such a great person. He should be doing the show of "Satyamev Jayate" not Aamir khan who is a con but since he is an actor he knows the nerves of India. Yes he said so that he studied in the best university. I too have studied. "Charity actually begins from JNU and not from home." I got to know that. He never wanted to go into U.P.S.C exams but his dad was fixated about it. Although he did not pursue it, he had no regrets about it till now. On the contrary I wanted it so I much that my dad cries more than me. Well I do write in my pieces called "my blogs" where I actually shit quite often. I do regret about it. My friend was suffering from a different syndrome about which I was in oblivion. But he is an iron man. I have seen him through his thick and thin. Few broken relationships, no scholarships and many more. Any one would have been broken with all these unfated rewards. He left everything and started moving towards his home town but there was a news where he was selected for a new job in a foreign country but he was not that elated. May be because of time I feel. He went and came back and some how in 2009 that project did not come out and he was fired and he was jobless. I spent many days with him. He was balanced and he actually seemed to be pedantic. He fell and rose every time. But he was never happy with all this. May be life is just not about mere formalities. It's about give and take. Though he had many relationships but almost all were in toss. Finally he got a job though the salary was less than what he got in ex company but that guy never complained. I still do not understand what he was up to. Job or some thing else. And one day I got a call from another friend that he has been hospitalised and when I met him he was crying regretting all his destined past. He even tried to commit suicide not once but twice. When I asked the reason he just said that "Two failed relationships, parents' expectation plus mine took a toll on my life". I feel saddened because if it. That friend still writes and talks about suicide though but I feel in the corner he is not happy but more of a depressed kind. I feel he breathes just for the heck of it. His life is no more a kaleidoscope. He still cries for his rescue and probably he seeks one. Last day what I saw was no different; he still regrets about it.