Finally come off age at twenty six...

I have always walked throughout my life with the crutch called love,support and guidance be it my parents,friends or my girlfriends. Frankly speaking I could hardly sleep alone even now also leave gals alright. It is really difficult for me even now. Things have changed andI too have grown up but my thinking has to grow up still.Initially my parents helped me out. In my grown up days it was my friends who took care of me. I did create a lots of ruckus but some of them still understand me.. Its a wonder because its really hard to keep me in control that too when I am in high spirits..Red Salute to them..Although I lost some of my very good friends. Point regreted. I dont know where they became busy but somewhere due to my incorrigible habbits they left me in lurch and I feel its alright because any human being can tolerate ceratin amount of pain in his ass not more then that.I think I have given more then that to my friends.
Well some of my girlfriends even tried hard to make me in control but almost all of them failed pathetically. So I would somehowattribute my relationship failures due to alcohol.(Someone would be definitely releieved because I have attributed this faiure to alcohol but God only knows). Well I am jobless now. Jobless in times of recession means those people who doesnot have any work and wasting there time. So was I and I resigned.Before my resignation I had a suicidal kind of revelry where I apologised to my parents,friends and cursed my girlfriend for deceiving me.I dont know whether I apologised to my girlfriends or not but I doubt and I am sure.Fianlly I got a message which shatterd me from within. One of my roomie wanted to change his room and he wants to live single now. I couldnot understand the reason and whenever I asked him he always told me not so serious reason but what I feel that those five days of deadly revelry made his mind to change room but it would have ceratinly changed anyones mind because I was drinking to die.These days also I ask him about the reason of changing his room but he cannot give me a full proof answer but I am somehow satisfied with him because he too have have priroritiesd his life. Thats fine.
Well as of me I am trying to find a good PG a single room where I can explore myself because I have led my ife on everyones crutch and I hate this crutch very much.I will have to find one soon. I could hardly know myself and this is bad if not worse.Well I have ceratin plans to live alone but I am little unsure whethet I would be through it as I have given up my job and my cost of living in Bangalore is still too high. But no worries. I have some different plans too. I have to make it possible somehow..Life is really too short......I feel it these days.